As I look back to a time when people began asking me “What do you want to do when you grow up?”, I remember with struggling with just picking one thing.

  • I wanted to be a Landscape Architect. Today it would be with an understanding of sustainable practices and using native plants.
  • I wanted to be an Interior Designer. I have a large pinterest board of projects I would like to do.
  • I wanted to be a Teacher, but had no idea what to teach.
  • I wanted to be a Photographer, ranging from a Photojournalist to Aerial, to Forensic. I miss not being behind my camera as much.

Before making my decision to become a National Park Ranger I felt lost. There were so many ideas and options in my head it was hard to narrow it down. My first year of college I started going for a degree in Art and photojournalism. I still felt lost though. In my personal life I was planning on becoming a stay at home mom, and doing photography on the side. It just felt like I was settling. After breaking up with my boyfriend I decided to transfer schools and work to become a National Park Ranger.

I was beginning to feel like I was on the right path. I enjoyed my classes and my jobs with the NPS. It seemed like this was the job for me. I was a teacher, spent time outdoors, and could still take photos. I know just how lucky I have been the last five years working for the National Park Service. (Even if I complain on here a lot.)

It’s been amazing and life changing.

But I’m beginning to feel lost again. I feel this pull towards photography, social media, creating publications, and other forms of digital media. I feel a pull towards starting a life with my boyfriend, instead of just spending a few months a year together. I want a house where I can make it feel like a home. I want a yard where I can have a garden and play in the dirt. I want to start a family.

I’m finding it difficult to do all that I want with the NPS.

I don’t know what the year has in store for me, but hopefully I can figure it out.